So, I’ve just finished a dojin. It was a dark, sad story I wanted to do. Funny think about it: I started it because need to coop with some troubles and ended up sadder and down. Sometimes this happens. Some works just take a huge bite on us, and it seems illogical: “Why, if I really wanted to write/draw this, do I feel so bad?”
From my experience, these are usually situations I don’t know how to bear with, and unconsciously project them on my works. But the problem I’m facing may be different from what I’m writing, or so it looks like. This dojin, for instance, I was frustrated for some marital problems, yet none of the characters or the story would lead you to that conclusion, since what I wrote was about someone being so proud to not letting people who hurt him know they were doing so, and therefore have a problem trusting others for help.
While I was writing and drawing it, I just felt down and angry at my husband and blame myself for taking on him what the story made me feel. Until I finished the first pages and read it again could I realized it was actually my real life problems the reason I worked on something like that and not the other way around.
It’s been a couple of weeks since I got to this truth. And since then I’ve been working on my issues, finding that all the mood I got from the dojin is gone now, feeling ready for taking on it again in a much calmer state. Art is really therapeutic but sometimes is hard to see what our deep mind is trying to tell.
Ticia Valcer 